Three discouraging comments


"At least you know you're cranky," my mother-in-law said to me this morning. This came up because I'd said that my family was full of long-lived and cranky women as I related the news of my grandmother, 88, who is just now having to abandon independent living for a more assisted situation. She fell down last week in her apartment and couldn't get back up. She was mostly uninjured, but spent an uncomfortable and frightening night on the floor.

Why is being cranky discouraging? Because my mother-in-law only seems to remember my state of mind 10 or 12 years ago when I was constantly cranky. She doesn't know me now that I'm usually pretty happy, if a bit curmudgeonly. I suspect that as far as she's concerned, I'll never shake that 20-something angst.

"It's a universal law that wives are sickly," was Tod's first discouraging comment of the day. That was in regard to my migraines, which made me succumb to a nap yesterday and to sleep until noon today. Blech. A colleague of his had to leave work early to drive his wife home from the hospital yesterday, so I guess all us wives are a poorly bunch.

That's discouraging because I do my best to not let it get in the way, but it does and I'm classified as 'sickly.' I try not to complain too much. Probably nobody but me knows that I've had a migraine of varying intensity for the past ten days.

Tod weighed in with the third discouraging comment of the day, "Don't take this personally, but journalists never get things right." That was in regard to an article I had drafted for the Perot newsletter about a project he's working on. I'd interviewed him over dinner last night and instead of taking notes, I was eating a salad as we talked. I didn't get the name of one component quite right and I failed to grasp exactly how his XML DTDs fit into the project.

It calls into question all the other articles I've written lately and that's discouraging. What did I get wrong that I couldn't fact check? Ah, well, it's OK; I got even with him by including his photo in the newsletter.

Bad things come in threes, right? Maybe today's three discouraging comments mean that tomorrow will be discouragement free. I can only hope.


We are not all sickly!

*kicks Tod* :p

Chin up honey - tomorrow we'll go and push around heavy weights and feel better!

Groar at migranes! (Oh, that was loud, sorry) *padsoffquietlyandshutsofflightsforyou*

Discouraging comments - you can choose to let them sink in or brush them off. I've noticed for me that some days it's easier to brush them off than others. Lifting weights is a good metaphor for it! "I'm going to lift some weights now" can be code for "I'm going to shrug off all the nonsense from today." If you're actually lifting weights you get the benefits doubled - low stress and good biceps.

Dear Kristen, I do remember the conversation in which you said you were cranky--I am so sorry if I actually said the discouraging words! Believe me, I would absolutely LOVE having you and Tod back close enough to know the "mostly happy" you! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a truly family day and you and Tod will be sorely missed at the table PLease accept my apology. We will eat some turkey in your honor! Love, Jean

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  • Mother-in-law: Dear Kristen, I do remember the conversation in which you read more
  • Jennifer: Groar at migranes! (Oh, that was loud, sorry) *padsoffquietlyandshutsofflightsforyou* Discouraging read more
  • gomichild: We are not all sickly! *kicks Tod* :p Chin up read more