Right in Front of Me

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desk-july.jpg
I am closing out July by organising the rest of my summer. I've got a lot of projects going on from now until the end of the year and they have gotten scattered. So I wrote them all down on little cards and put them up on the wall above my desk. Now I can not worry about forgetting or neglecting them.

I have always relied on lists to manage my workflow. This master list, so cute with its hearts and colors, will help me to create daily lists that are focussed. And I really need that help these days.

My memory is getting worse and worse as I age. I was once razor sharp in wit and thought but I know my edge is dulled. Tod is sometimes alarmed at how bad it is and I think he worries for the future. I believe this softening of memory is normal and I compensate ok but I do not like this aspect of ageing at all. 

It is frustrating to feel blurred all the time. I don't remember what page I was on in the book I am reading. I can't get past six items in a basic memory puzzle. It is an effort to recall what I did two days ago. I don't know the restaurant where we had dinner for our anniversary or exactly what we ordered (Tod always does). 

Part of me tries hard to remember in the crisp effortless way I used to. Maybe if I eat differently, drink less alcohol, exercise more, play brain training games, study something. Other parts of me are trying to relax into this new phase and accept it because I don't think it is going to change for the better no matter what I do. Time will tell how this plays out.

Until then, I have lists and a wall of projects to attend to.
 

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