The other day, I was talking to Tod about how seeing people's summer festival photos on Facebook makes me sad. There are a lot of interesting little festivals in Japan - creative events combining music, camping, and flow arts. I rarely go to them, even though they seem interesting and many people I know go.
Because when I do attend them, I see a very bleak side of myself. The one that can't communicate in language or, maybe more critically, in culture. I just don't fit in. As a result of numerous stilted conversations that the other half quickly abandons with a smile and a wave, I spend the weekend feeling alone in a crowd. I retreat to the edges, busy myself teaching, and insert my weird foreign ways as clownishly as I can. A bit Puddles Pity Party, really.
"You're the (insert name of socially awkward friend) of these things, aren't you?" Tod said. Insightful. Ouch, I am.
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