February 14, 2004
Love = effort?

A late-day blog entry. I’m sitting at my desk, dressed in the cloth of gold dress, waiting to leave for a dinner 10 pm reservation at Cicada.

Cynical as I am, I’m not one for enjoying a consumer based Valentine’s Day, but I do like a quiet celebration. So I made an effort to make today a little special. Tod & I enjoyed brunch at home, complete with a magnum of champers which we finished off over the course of the afternoon as we listened to jazz and classical music, following along with the sheet music of some of the Bach fugues. It was relaxing.

After we finished eating, but before the wine had gone to our heads, Tod decided to return my favor. He made a reservation at Cicada, a Mediterranean restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a while, hence the dressing up aspect of our day. (Tod’s even donned his one-and-only suit for the occasion.)

But we had a philosophical disagreement. I say love requires effort. Tod says effort comes naturally with love. “The things you do to show your love are effortless,” he insists.

I think it boils down to a definition of effort. In my world, effort is healthy, good and often quite enjoyable. Apparently in Tod’s world, effort is a struggle. How about your world?

Posted by kuri at February 14, 2004 07:51 PM


I’d have to say love takes effort. It may be effort one is more than willing to give, but often it requires energy one wouldn’t normally expend towards a goal that isn’t one you would have picked. But love requires compromise and effort, but both of these then lead to growth.

Posted by: Seth on February 16, 2004 05:07 AM

It’s effort, but a happy effort if you truly love. Everything requires effort of some sort; brushing your teeth, packing lunch, thinking about snails. The things we do for love are possibly the most memorable efforts of our lives.

Posted by: Jenny on February 16, 2004 10:31 PM

Effort sounds like a good idea to me, but always feels like a struggle. I’m sort of half-Todd, half-Kristen on that one. Apparently I have the laziest sign in both the Western and Chinese zodiac. However I don’t believe in astrology, so I guess that’s that.

Posted by: Meenoo on February 17, 2004 07:51 AM

love is something you do, not something you have.

i don’t think you show your love. you do your love.

so yeah, i think love is all about effort. even if one doesn’t realize it.

PS: could i be any more cryptic and hallmark-sounding? maybe not.

Posted by: peterb on February 25, 2004 11:52 PM

thinking about snails,
now I am

Posted by: James on March 5, 2004 08:32 AM
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