Doing Without Report #1

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Here I am, a month into my experiment and I can't say I have had great success but I am not totally failing. I think I am doing OK on the giving away part, not so great on the purchasing part. 

Successes:
  • Joined Freecycle and gave away some big stuff from the pantry closet
  • Put a box of small treasure on the street - almost all gone in 24 hours
  • Replaced two worn items of summer clothing with new ones
  • Gifted power stones for bracelets at Guru-guru Camp
  • Mailed a box of treasures to a friend
  • Gave a party tent & beach umbrella to our camping buddy, Takashi
  • Created a standing desk from an easel and some scrap wood
Failures:
  • Acquired another tent (the Peanut) from Tracey for GGC.
  • Bought a cooler box for camp
  • Made a lot of palm candles at camp
  • Own a new, smaller portable amp for practice and parties
  • Gave Tod a melodeon for his birthday
  • Purchased a hat
And plans: 
  • Bring out my summer clothes and trash the worn out ones
  • Reduce my shoes by half
  • Pare down to a minimum of handbags, coats, and hats
  • Host a hula hoop retaping/giveaway party
  • Plant a food garden
  • Build an outdoor kitchen with things we already have

What's Beyond Science

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I am torn about writing this. It puts me deep into a class of people I have shunned for so long. The New Age Hippie Freaks. And yet my time in the circus opened my eyes to some things that I have long denied and usually hide about myself. 
 
Let me start with a disclaimer:

Science is important. It grounds our understanding of the world and makes sense of things. I love the beauty of math. I have a basic grasp of quantum physics (the Feynman kind, not the new age kind). I am delighted when our interplanetary explorations make discoveries. I dig big machines that make experiments. l get excited over microscopic pictures. I dream about e-paper and 3D printing being part of our daily lives. I read science history for fun. I am not a scientist, but I think like one.

But there are things beyond science: energetic planes and the healing arts. Things like crystals, divinations, vibrational energies, bodywork, chakras, connection to the collective unconsciousness, meditation. Without science to back up claims, all of these are considered nonsense at best, dangerous at worst. 

I saw this clever Venn diagram the other day and was sort of ashamed that I knew about almost all of the things in it. Not that I trust in them all but none of it made me say "What's that?" 

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For an even more detailed version, go visit the original post: http://crispian-jago.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-venn-diagram-of-irrational-nonsense.html

But I dare to declare, in the face of this diagram and the cultural attitudes behind it, that not all of this is bollocks.

For example, acupuncture and its related healing practices (reflexology, moxibustion, and shiatsu) based on the Chinese concept of energetic meridians are effective for treating symptoms of all sorts. Perhaps it is a placebo effect, as some studies say, but my first hand experiences say otherwise. 

Divination techniques like tarot, astrology, numerology, and palmistry might be faked with social engineering and cold reading techniques but not all readings are intentionally faked. Divination gives people insight into their lives and that has value. But science can't measure how it works when it is real, therefore it can't be real.

Vibrational energies have been described in many forms - chakras, ghosts, auras, feng shui, reiki, qi, turtles on elephants. Science hasn't decided to study them seriously for a very long time. Experiments were carried out on some of these topics in the 18th century, the heyday of scientific awakening. Most of them failed at the time and haven't been repeated. In the world beyond scientific thought, some people are sensitive to these energies. Others aren't. I'm one of the moderately sensitive ones.

So there. I've said it. These things work for me, add value to my life, and I experience them personally. Maybe I have a new calling as an energy worker or a healer.  Time to face up to the bits of me that are beyond science. 

But I question myself constantly. Are energy workers and healers deluded? Are they faking it? Is it real?  Am I starting to believe in this because my brain is breaking down with age? Well, I have had weird psychic experiences since I was about 3, so I can't blame age. I squelched the ability for a long time, but it is still there. I see ghosts and auras. I have divinatory dreams. I feel tree energy. It is freakish and uncontrolled and 100% unproveable at the moment.

Without science backing any of it up, faith is required to uphold belief in the unmeasurable. Having strong faith like that is a huge challenge for me. A Venn diagram will throw me off course. Reading the fundamental texts of these arts can make me cringe; the language is awful and there are so many weasel words that it is almost impossible to pick out hard facts from wishful thinking.

Regardless, I feel it is time to explore this and see where it goes. I have felt the incredible power that moves through the world. Let me see what I can do with it. I have a tarot deck. I wear crystals and stones for their energetic properties. I know how to meditate. There is a portal into this for me, if I am patient and practice what I know.

Will I lose friends? Will my science-minded circle abandon me to tarot cards and crystals? I hope not.

Doing Without in 2013

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I returned from Spark! Circus with a renewed distaste for consumerism. We don't need everything that is offered to us, and there are some ridiculous things being sold. Walking through the shopping districts of Tokyo was painful. I started to avoid going into areas of town where every nook and cranny is dedicated to selling something.

Having lived out of a small backpack for four months while touring with WHD Dance and in the circus, I realised I can be happy with very few resources. 

But my apartment is overfull of things that I have succumbed to purchasing. So much stuff. After returning from Thailand, I spent days clearing things out that I didn't need or want any more. But it is hard and there is just so much stuff that we do use, but infrequently - 2 tents, 2 spare futon, and 20 china party plates, for instance - that I couldn't achieve the stark emptiness that I wanted to surround me. And then there are all the things that are Tod's...

Even my desk is untameable. The pencil cup overflows. Why do I have so many pens? Do I need four Sharpies? Three pairs of scissors? Yes...? No? I use them if they are there. Would I miss them if they were not there? Argh. Don't get me started on hoop workshop materials or art supplies.

So, frustrated by my inability to pitch all of this kipple, I remembered my 2009 experiment in "No Shopping" and decided to give it another go for the rest of 2013. At least I won't be accumulating any more things. My personal guidelines at the time were:

  1. No accumulation of things
  2. Purchase only consumables
  3. Become mindful of my consumption
  4. Exercise creativity by repurposing what I already have
  5. Improve skills in repair, maintenance, & construction
  6. Build networks through bartering and trade
  7. Reduce my "ecological footprint" by decreasing waste and increasing the life of my things
  8. Refocus my desires to meaningful things like learning, rather than an LED hula hoop
And I am adding one more this time:

9.  One in, one out. 

For 2013 I am also putting more emphasis on giving things away, including things I love. I will be clearing out my clothes, coats (ouch), shoes (oh!), kitchen cabinets, hula hoops and flow toys, books, and all the little things that weigh me down.  Assessing what is important to me and what I really don't need.

And then I will try not to shop. 

To keep myself honest, I will report here monthly. If you are keen to play along, there is a closed group on Facebook called "Make Do, Do Without 2013". Drop me a PM over there and I will add you.


Spark Circus: the work, the shows.

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The Sparkles at a fundraiser on Koh Samui

Where do I even begin the story of my circus adventures? The beginning seems so long ago. So I will start at the end.

Feb 22, 4 pm. I chucked my bags onto the songtauw heading to the airport. As I plopped myself on the bench and the driver pulled away, my circus family were singing "rum sum sum" to me from the porch of our guest house. This is the song we sang every day as we arrived and left the schools. I sang back to my friends and cried. The circus was well and truly over for me.

The previous week had been one of post-circus decompression, staggered departures, and a few reconnections on the road. In pairs and trios, some of the troupe went to Pai, others to Chiang Mai. There were plans to head back to the islands where we started. Some jetted off to Bangkok. Our goodbyes sometimes took place at the front gate of our homebase in Mae Sot, with hugs and waves in the pre-dawn.

For a month in Bangkok and Mae Sot, our circus family was as tightly knit as you can imagine. And like most troupes rallied around a show, it unravelled when the run was over. There is a core group all from Denver; they will certainly see one another. But will I ever again meet my fellow Sparkles offline? I can't rule it out, but I can't promise I will. I hope so.

Hard Work and Worth It

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An early version of our schedule

We bound together so strongly as a group because circus work is hard. It is fun and extremely fulfilling, but at the same time, it is not easy. Our schedule was bursting with shows and workshops. Often it was two a day - a school show with workshops and then a fire show at night. Some days we split into two teams to fit in an extra location. We had a few days on the schedule without shows, and a fair handful of one show days. Some days we travelled far; other days the venues were right around the corner from us.

In between shows and on days off, we had myriad tasks to keep everything running smoothly - from taping hoops to arranging water purchases and shopping missions to restock supplies. The crew in charge of shows, workshops, and sound had setlists to plan and lots of communication with everyone. Our personal needs, like laundry, eating, training, and social connections, got slipped in somehow. The pace of life was fast. Time management is a key skill in the circus. 

The hard work, the hours put into so many different tasks, the stress of things not always going as desired...it was all worth it for the reward of smiles and love from kids and communities we visited.

Day Shows

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Tink at Chicken School. Photo by Lavoz Solidaria

The fun and fulfilment comes with the shows. The energy of the kids in the audience at our day shows fed back in a loop every time. We gave our best, the kids grabbed it, multiplied it, and tossed it back to us. We busted out clowning and silliness, then offered an hour of workshops in hooping, juggling, poi, dance, and other circus skills. After a day show, our ride home was buoyant as we recounted individual encounters with the kids who wanted to hold our hands the whole time, who ran to wash their faces for another round at the facepaint station, or who learned so fast we couldn't teach them enough tricks in the workshops. 

It is hard, though, to understand that our circus is so outside the usual experience for these kids. Many of the places we visited were boarding schools for children whose parents are still in Burma - they call them IDPs, internally displaced persons. Some of the kids are orphans. Other schools focus on daily education for street kids, or rescuing them from sordid lives of slavery and prostitution. For some of our team, these were heartbreaking realisations. There were tears and quiet contemplation. These children have seen more of the bad side of life than I have, for sure. They live in better circumstances now - fed, clothed, housed and educated. This is a good thing. Hopeful.  Despite their challenges and sad histories, kids manage to be happy and childlike when the circus visits. 

At several schools, we were feasted. I have to say that heaping bowls of rice with soup curry or fruit tasted so good after dancing and playing in the scorching sun. And even better than food, sometimes we were treated to performances by the students - a masked traditional dance, a stunning choreography performed through clapping bamboo poles, modern choreography with traditional singing. Even a Gangnam Style dance one night before our fire show. It was always a huge treat to get a return show from the kids because I truly appreciate the courage and practice that goes into live performance of all types. 

I brought two acts to the day show line up and they were both performed in most of the shows. As a solo performance, I did a clowning act with my hoop as a mirror. The kids got to participate in this one as I had them hold the hoop mirror for me while I smeared lipstick all over my face and then wiped some if it off onto my helpers and blew kisses to the audience. The other act was the WHD Dance (surprised?) which a group of six of us rehearsed. It was great fun to perform the WHD choreo with a bunch of terrific hoopers in such exotic locations. I wonder if there is any video I can add to the compilation...

There was a third act that I did only once in the very last show of the tour. Jew and I planned out a circus-y multihoop extravaganza with a crew of five hoopers but never managed to rehearse it with everyone. We were both eager to play it, so we pared it down to him, me, and Quinn and practiced on the road as we headed into the refugee camps north of Mae Sot. We busted it out in Nu Poe on our very last day and it was fun. I think it will be one of my acts for next year.

Night Shows

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I love fire. photo by Vincenzo Florama

Our night shows were a complete change of pace from the day shows. We were spinning fire (and occasionally LED) and this was outside my comfort zone, at least at first. I learned a heap about safety, fuelling, extinguishing, and performing with fire. It became comfortable and nearly routine. I truly fell in love with fire performing.

Our full fire show began with a group piece based on a Chinese 1000 hands dance. All of us aligned in a column, moving in sync and in sequence to present the fire on our hands in patterns and waves to the audience. It was a very pretty piece. Sometimes I was in this one, sometimes not, depending on my other roles for the show - running sound or acting as safety monitor.

Every night's show was a new lineup. We had more acts than time, so the show manager created a new set list every day. Sometimes performers were sick or needed to take time off for whatever reason. Sometimes the shows needed to be longer or shorter or had other constraints. After the set list was developed, the Safety team went into action and prepared a matrix showing who was going to man the various safety stations. We had three people with buckets and towels ranged around the stage to catch any flying props and potentially douse the performers. There were two extinguishing positions with damp towels and duvetene to put out the tool as the acts came off stage. Someone sat with our dipping station to help redip tools and ensure that the fuel was safely contained and kept away from the public. Troupe members switched from performance to safety positions throughout every show. It was sometimes chaotic.

Each show concluded with a spectacular of fire as everyone had a turn with their tools, overlapping entrances and exits so that there was an abundance of flame on stage. The climax of the finale was an acrobatic dragon formation made of three people with flames in hands and overhead, battled by April on stilts with a fire sword. There were always lots of grins on stage during that part and happy smiles as we took our bows. Often I missed the bow since I was extinguishing the dragon's tools, but I tried to be quick so I could run up at the very last second and squeeze my way into the line.

The acts in between were solo pieces. They varied from dynamic to lyrical and used a huge variety of flaming props - hoops, poi, staff, rope dart, fans. All of the performers were highlighted by "framers" who slowly wielded flaming props in the background to add more light and interest to the stage. I loved doing framing to accent other people's acts and everyone had their favorite people to frame them. Nikki and I were often waving isis wings in the background for Jew's poi act, with "palm candle girls" down front. I used fans or torches a couple of times when the regular framers were absent. My favorite framing performance was as a firefly in April's double hoop act. Nothing beats bouncing around using palm candles as lightning bugs. We all fought to get on stage for that act. 

My own fire act used mini hoops like fans to create a clock character. I did it many times - actually every scheduled show until I got sick - and each night it was a little different. I love the act and will continue to use it, with an aim to nailing the open armed turn that I never got quite right. My framers were two handsome men with torches standing behind me doing clock-y swishes and circles. I never got to see them in action. I wonder if there is video somewhere...

There is so much more to be written about the circus experience - from the special moments at each school to the personal awakenings I had while in the circus. But this post is long enough and those stories will have to come another day.

Circus Life

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I am in love with the circus. I love my performance family. I love the shows we do and I especially love the kids we entertain. I love playing with fire. I love packing every day so full of action and emotion that 24 hours seems like a week.

Our mission is to bring play and laughter to refugee kids. So far we have visited 10 schools, orphanages and clinics and seen over 1000 children with our day show and circus workshops and our night time fire and LED shows. The kids are so energising to be with - like children everywhere, their circumstances do not dictate their happiness. It seems to make no difference that some of these kids have no parents, a past life as prostitutes or slave labor, or were rescued from the streets. They find something in our circus that makes them happy.

For some of the little girls, it is all about holding a female performer's hand after the show. The older boys hang back and look aloof, but I see them admiring the gentlemen in our troupe who rock it with tech flow skills. Some kids come talk to us in English of varying abilities and those conversations are incredible. One afternoon I had a conversation about my ukulele with a boy who dreamed of learning to play guitar. Some only need a smile or a wave to break into giggles. At some schools, they chase our truck as we drive away, smiling and laughing as they run. It really takes very little to connect with and love these kids.

The Sparkles I play with are one of the most incredible groups of people I have ever met. The circus family experience is like theatre family, only 24x7. Everyone brings an unexpected skill to the table, as well as our performance and teaching ability. We have a shaman, several massage therapists, yogis, and a wide range of other divination and healing arts being practiced. There is a group of hot sauce makers who experiment in the kitchen. I bring the practical ability of hairdressing. We trade and share what we have. Everyone embraces (these are some awesome huggers), and frequently says "I love you" with true feeling of agape. But we are far from perfect. We are judgmental sometimes, and have waves of being cranky, exhausted, sick, and snarky. There is gossip and backtalking. We disagree about things to the point of drama. But in general we forgive easily and get along in order to reach our goal of bringing smiles to kids. Because the circus isn't about us as individuals, or even as a team. It is about creating a playful, joyful highlight in the lives of children who don't have many material blessings.

Sparkles, I love you. Circus, you are changing my life.

Welcome 2013

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Wishing all the best to friends and family in the coming year.

25 Words

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Hooping took me up to Tohoku, down to Niijima, and around the world on tour. Ukulele, yoga, improv, songwriting, skating, visiting, & fundraising filled the gaps.

Here are all the 25 word summaries since I started this annual project in 2001:

2011
Mother Earth trembled and futures fell apart. Uncertainty ruled us for months but in the end I'm still in Japan, married, hooping, and feeling happy.

2010
Lived my hoop dreams, wheeee! Connected, created, collaborated, choreographed, costumed, capered, camped, coordinated, but then crashed hard. Ouch. Healed and found my truth. Full circle.

2009
Rose petals in blue sky and the scent of muddy elephants conducted me to presence. An intense upwelling of joy revealed the universe inside me.

2008
I made dresses, meals, 100 necklaces, friends. Grew food. Witnessed a birth! I am greying, wrinkling and fading, but I started hooping, so who cares?

2007
Food ruled 2007: went almost vegan, developed recipes, and lost 10 kilos. Also sewed Morsbags, made political statements with robots, and explored Tokyo real estate.

2006
Forty was a pleasure/pain year - a roiling emotional sea. Heartbreaking anguish half drowned me but also un-dammed a flood of patterns, photography and creativity.

2005
This year, a lesson in how to bear pain and loss. Travel doesn't cure heartache; friends ease the agony. Healing and peace flow like water.

2004
Did more, finished less. Strengthened friendships and traveled. Constructed 18 videos, knitted scarves, shared my pencils and my love. Still seeking realisation of my principles.

2003
Hello Tokyo finally done
Neon Chopstix now begun.
'Twas mostly work but also fun.
Hosted friends from far away.
Another visa for three years' stay.

2002
Celebrating four years in Japan, I exercised my right brain and my poetic voice. I filmed then procrastinated. I waited for the axe to fall.

2001
Spent seven weeks on holiday in Maui, China, mainland US. Wrote lots, taught many, earned little. Saw the inside of my head. Didn't do enough.

Move 2013

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This is the fifth year that I have selected a word to guide me in the coming year. I display it near my desk and use it as a mantra when I am in doubt.

For 2013, my theme is move.

This was a tricky one. The first move I think of is "move house" which is daunting and unpleasant but there are so many more definitions that suit what I hope for in 2013. I can move someone to tears or move them to action, I can make a move, move forward, move my body, or learn a new move...or I could move house.

Some synonyms to keep in mind: activate, actuate, advocate, affect, agitate, carry, cause, convert, draw up, drive, excite, impel, impress, incite, induce, inspire, instigate, introduce, lead, operate, persuade, prompt, propel, propose, rouse, shift, start, stimulate, stir, suggest, sway, touch, quicken, urge, work on, act, action, change, manoeuvre  measure, motion, movement, procedure, step, stratagem, turn, variation.

Here are my previous themes:
2010, connect: http://www.mediatinker.com/blog/archives/010736.html

Nengajo time

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Pretty colors, inappropriate tool, and lots of imperfection. My kind of art!

This afternoon I am indulging in one of my favorite holiday preparations, creating our holiday cards. 

This year's nengajo project is especially delightful because I am returning to what I consider my artistic roots - printmaking. I love creating multiples. The multistep process of creating a print is stimulating and satisfying. It puts me in a flow state and time passes without me noticing. And at the end of it, I can have as many copies of the print as I want. 

So I've been sipping tea and carving away at the wood for a few hours. I used the tools I had at hand - linoleum knives - and they have been interesting to work with. They dull quickly on wood and aren't ideal for cutting across the grain. Fortunately, my design can take a bit of roughness around the edges and I have a plan to use some other knives to tidy up. 

A few minutes ago, I took the first impression to see what I've got from my labours. Lots of mess! Now I get to clean up the little lines and ridges until I can print sheets that don't have too many stray marks. I'll use the linoleum knives plus a couple of exacto knives for the edge detail. The block won't be perfect even with hours of extra tidying and that is part of what I love about printmaking.

The ink colors Tod & I bought for the project were better suited to my original design idea, which involved a three stage reduction print process. I got frustrated with the design and a little scared about the time commitment. I abandoned that idea on Saturday. The design I settled on two days ago is simpler (and Tod liked it on first sight, whew!). But simple may require a bolder color scheme. Tod & I will discuss this tonight over dinner. I'll pull a couple of prints in the colors we have on hand and we will decide.

I will finish the carving and edition this print by the end of the week, so this is a call out to you. If you moved house this year, or if I don't have your address but you would like a card, please send me an e-mail by Friday. Happy new year, in advance

Spark Circus fundraising

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Hi, I'm home! Not for long, though. In less six weeks, I will be in Thailand performing with Spark Circus. 

Joining the circus is a lifelong dream for everyone, isn't it? Maybe it is just me...

I'll be involved in lots of different ways: helping with backstage logistics, making circus props, and being a general dogsbody. Mainly, I will be a performer in the 20 person troupe and living my best talent, the playshops we will put on at the camps and schools. I will lead games and teach kids a range of circus skills from hooping to juggling and clowning. I even learned a magic rope trick while I was in Maine that I can teach.

And I am working on two solo acts. There is a fire show called Lamplighter that I wrote while I was visting the V & A in London and a silly kids song and dance inspired by frogs. Once all of us come together in Thailand in early January, there will be group choreography, shared acts and lots of show coordination to do.

Before I leave, I will sew five costumes from designs I sketched on airplanes around the world and creating props for shows and using in the playshops. I've already finished a ton of headpieces to share with the troupe.

I am also fundraising. Thanks so much to everyone who bought a postcard. Thanks to your generous donations, I am making my way to my $1000 goal. If you want to help and are in Tokyo, you can register for hoop workshops and private lessons with me. 

Also, http://www.sparkcircus.org/Spark Circus have just launched a big Indiegogo campaign. We hope to raise $10,000 before the circus begins. Please consider making a donation (and getting a perk) as a holiday gift. Click through for details on all the different ways you can help, and for more information on exactly what we will be doing with the donations:

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